Daria in: The Prom
by Jeff Cuscutis
Jeff Cuscutis<br>
Daria and related characters owned by MTV, a Viacom company (created by Glenn Eichler and Susie Lewis Lynn)

(Daria and Jane are walking to class)
Jane: Well, only 8 more months of this.
Daria: (looks lost in thought)
Jane: The aliens have come. They want to talk to Quinn about getting a makeover.
Daria: (looks lost in thought)
Jane: Yo!
Daria: Hmm. Oh, sorry. What did you say.
Jane: Nothing. You seem distracted.
Daria: It's nothing.
Jane: A bomb could have gone off and you wouldn't have noticed.
Daria: It's nothing.
(Daria and Jane continue walking past a poster proclaiming the Lawndale High Senior Prom)

(Daria and Tom are sitting on the couch at his house watching tv)
Announcer: When cars get old: Vanity plate facelifts; next on Sick Sad World.
Daria: Maybe you should get one for your car.
Tom: I can change from KJM965 to NDR234.
Daria: Maybe a paint job would be better.
Tom: What and ruin the finish.
Daria: Tom.
Tom: Yes. (Tom looks at Daria)
Daria: Nothing.
Tom: Ok.
Daria: I was thinking...
Tom: (nods) Always.
Daria: (Smiles) The Prom is coming up and...
Tom: (smiles) And you'd like to go.
Daria: (nods) Yes. (v.o.) I think.
Tom: When is it?
Daria: In two weeks.
Tom: I'll have to get my tux out. (Daria looks at him)
Daria: You own a tuxedo?
Tom: (looks sheepish) Well, I've gone to enough fund raisers with my parents that it was more economical to own one than keep renting one.
Daria: Sloane, Tom Sloane.
Tom: (laughs) With a license to kill. (kisses Daria) This'll be fun.
Daria: (looks a little worried) Yeah, fun.

(Mr. DiMartino's class. DiMartino is handing out papers)
DiMartino: Here are the quiz scores for the last quiz. Some of you might not have to look to the food-service industry for employment. (Hands a paper to Quinn) Very GOOD, Miss Morgendorffer.
Sandi: Quinn, you are like really weirding me out with your newfound calling as a brain.
Tiffany: Really...weirded...out.
Stacy: I think it's cool. (Sandi glares at Stacy) Eep! (Stacy turns back to her desk)
Quinn: Sandi, you yourself said we were all of comparable intelligence. I wouldn't want you to think I was talking down to you.
Sandi: (v.o.) Brain.
Sandi: So, Quinn, who are you going to the Prom with?
Quinn: (Distractedly) I hadn't really thought about it. If I find someone I'll ask.
(shocked looks from the Fashion Club)

(Daria laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling)
Daria: I should be happy. Shouldn't I? I'm going to the prom. Why? I avoid school activities like the plague. I'm talking to myself again. Arrgh!
Helen: (o.s.) Quinn! Daria! Dinner!
(The dinner table. Lasagna, of course.)
Helen: So, (bt) how was everyone's day? (bt) Anyone?
Quinn: I did realy well on the history test.
Daria: Tom and I are going to the Prom. (Quinn and Daria stare at each other Helen and Jake stare first at Quinn and Daria and then at each other)
Helen: (To Jake) Our little girls are growing up.
Quinn and Daria: (Look at each other then at Helen) Moooom!
Helen: Good job Quinn. (Turns to Daria) Daria, you need a dress don't you? Have you started looking for one yet? You need to start looking for one. I would looove to go with you and find one.
Daria: (blushes) I'll let you know when I've found one. This'll be embarrassing enough without having an audience.
Helen: Are you sure? (looks like she really wants to go)
Daria: Yes. (starts eating)

(Pizza King. Daria and Jane are eating )
Jane: So, Helen wanted to do some mother/daughter bonding and you turned her down.
Daria: I don't know why I'm getting all worked up about this. I've been to dances before.
Jane: Except you want to go. Take part. Join the human race. (bt) Show off Tom.
Daria: Excuse me?
Jane: You heard me. Hey, I would have.
Daria: (looks uncomfortable) I, uh...
Jane: Hey, I'm over him, remember? I'm just saying, there's no shame in showing off your boyfriend.
Daria: That just seems, so, so...
Jane: Shallow?
Daria: Thanks a lot.
Jane: You don't have to be a saint. As long as it doesn't become a habit.
Daria: I can quit at any time.
Jane: It's ok to even show yourself off.
Daria: I guess you're right. I do want to show him off. And, maybe, myself, just a little, but I'll deny it if I'm asked.
Jane: Daria Morgendorffer, fashion plate.
Daria: Go to hell, Lane. (bt) Oh no. (stricken look)
Jane: What?
Daria: I'm gonna need a makeover. (Holds head in her hands) I am becoming Quinn.

(Quinn's room. Quinn is reading "A Journal of the Plague Years")
Quinn: This is really interesting. (Reads further) Ewww!
(the phone rings)
Stacy: Hey Quinn. what are you doing?
Quinn: Read...Doing my nails.
Stacy: Are you ok? We're all worried about you. You don't even have a Prom date lined up. You're sick aren't you. You're gonna die. (starts wailing)
Quinn: Stacy. Stacy. Stacy!
Stacy: (stops crying) Yeah?
Quinn: I'm not dying. I'm not sick. I've just been working harder in school. I'm just (bt) reevaluating my prioities. I want to get into a good school. I'll find someone to take me to the Prom. I just haven't had the time to look.
Stacy: Oh. Ok. Do you want to come over and hang out?
Quinn: Sure. Be over in a while.
(Quinn hangs up the phone)
Quinn: Working harder in school, not dating as much. I guess I should look for a Prom date. (shakes her head thoughtfully and opens her phone book) I'm becoming Daria.

(Montage of Daria and Jane looking for the dress. She keeps coming out of the changing room in dresses that are look exactly like her bridesmaid dress from "I Don't" except in different colors. Jane keeps shaking her head no.)

(Daria and Jane watching tv at Jane's)
Jane: I think you tried on every dress in the mall. I didn't know that style came in so many colors.
Daria: I have never wasted as much time in my life searching for clothes. I usually just get the first thing that fits.
Jane: Don't look at me. I'm no fashion plate. You could always ask Qui-
Daria: No.
Jane: She does have experience.
Daria: No.
Jane: (Throwing hands up) Ok. Forget I said anything.

(Daria laying on her bed staring at the ceiling)
Daria: Jane was right. I need to ask Quinn for help. What is she gonna try to get out of me? (Daria gets up and walks to Quinn's room and knocks) Quinn?
Quinn: What?
Daria: Can I come in?
Quinn: Why?
Daria: Why do you keep answering every question with a question?
Quinn: What?
Daria: Never mind. I need to ask you a favor.
Quinn: Go on.
Daria: I. . .I need help finding a dress for the Prom.
Quinn: Ok.
Daria: What? You're not asking for anything? Who are you and what have you done to my sister?
Quinn: I am not completely mercenary. I am capable of an occasional altruistic action. Besides, (grins) you'll owe me.
Daria: I know I'm gonna regret this.

(Daria and Quinn enter Cashmans and go to the formal wear section)
Quinn: (turns and looks at Daria appraisingly then pulls a green dress off the rack) Here, try this one.
Daria: (looks at dress size) It's too small.
Quinn: No it's not. You always get clothes that cover yourself, not ones that fit.
Daria: (dubiously) Ok. (goes into fitting room)
Sandi: Quinn, what are you doing here? Does this mean you found a date to the Prom?
Quinn: Oh, Sandi, I just needed to do some shopping.
Sandi: So who is it?
Quinn: Who?
Sandi: Your date to the Prom.
Quinn: (nervous laugh) It's. . . it's a surprise.
Sandi: Alright Quinn. I'll see you then and your surprise date. (leaves)
Quinn: (Daria walks up behind Quinn) Now why did I do that? Dammit!
Daria: I feel naked in this. Do what?
Quinn: Nothing. (Quinn turns and circles around Daria, looks impressed. Daria is wearing a long, light green dress with a high collar and a plunging back. It hugs her figure closely) Very nice. You'll need a wrap, shoes, and a purse, and you just have to get your hair done.
Daria: Do I have to?
Quinn: Yes. (bt) You really like Tom, don't you?
Daria: What has that got to do with anything?
Quinn: We all do strange things for those we care about.
Daria: Hmmm. Are you going to the Prom?
Quinn: (resigned) Yeah. I have to find someone. Dating just isn't as much fun as it used to be. I've dated all the cute guys in Lawndale, but, I don't know, after David...
Daria: It's just not the real thing, is it?
Quinn: (turns away) No. (looks at Daria) You like like Tom, don't you.
Daria: Yeah. (smiles) He doesn't ask me to be anything but myself.
Quinn: (wistfully) That would be nice. (businesslike) Ok. Let's get you shoes.
Daria: Groan.

(Daria and Jane are walking to school)
Jane: So, let me get this straight. You and Quinn had bonding time over shopping for your dress. If you do much more of this, you'll almost be human.
Daria: Go to hell, Lane.
Jane: So, when do I get to see it?
Daria: At the Prom. Are you...
Jane: Going with someone? No. I'm helping out, though. Jodie roped me into helping with the decorating.
Daria: What's the theme?
Jane: Andy Warhol.
Daria: That may give you your fifteen minutes.
Jane: That's what I'm hoping. Pizza after school?
Daria: (looks embarassed) I'm (mumbling)
Jane: What?
Daria: I'm (bt) getting my hair done.
Jane: Oh. Ok. (giggles)
Daria: I will kill you and they will not find the body. (starts chasing Jane)
Jane: Only if you can catch me.

(Exterior Casa Morgendorffer. Tom drives up. He is dressed in a tuxedo and carries a corsage. He knocks)
Helen: Oh, Tom, come in. You look nice.
Tom: Thanks Mrs. Morgendorffer. Is Daria ready?
Helen: Daria! Tom's here. Jake? Where are you?
Jake: Here I am honey. Got the camera and everything.
Tom: Wow.
(Daria is at the top of the stairs. She looks stunning. The dress looks great, hanging and gathering at all of the right places. Her hair is piled up in a stylish coif. Her makeup is understated and sophisticated under her glasses. Over her shoulders is a wrap and in her hands is a small purse. Heels finish the ensemble.)
Daria: (Uncertain) Do I look ok?
Tom: Wow.
Jake: (snaps pictures) Kiddo, you look beautiful. My little girl is growing up.
Helen: You look beautiful. Knock em dead.
Tom: Wow.
Daria: (turns her head back up the hall towards Quinn) How do I walk down stairs in these shoes again?

(Photo montage from Jake's camera of Daria walking down stairs, Tom putting the corsage on her wrist, Daria and Tom kissing, Daria blushing, and one picture of Quinn in her dress, alone)

(Interior of Tom's car. Daria and Tom are in the front seat, Quinn is in the back seat.)
Quinn: Thanks again for giving me a ride.
Tom: No problem. Meeting your date there?
Quinn: (looks away and mumbles)
Tom: What?
Quinn: No. I'm not meeting my date.
Tom. Oh? Oh. I guess you'll need a ride back then, right?
Quinn: (resigned) Yeah.
Daria: Didn't you tell Sandi that you had a surprise date?
Quinn: Yeah. I don't know why I said that. Everything is a competition between us.
Daria: Should we drop you off outside?
Quinn: No. I'll just go in with you.
Daria: (shrugs) Ok.

(Tom's car pulls up to Sedimentary Rock Country Club and Links. Everyone exits the car and Tom pays the valet)
Tom: Well, lets go. (They go in)
(inside, its crowded, lots of people already dancing Tom and Daria move out to the dance floor leaving Quinn by the door)
Sandi: Quinn, so good to see you. Where is your surprise date?
Quinn: Oh Sandi, he's, he's just off getting me something to drink.
Sandi: Sure, Quinn.
Quinn: What, don't you beleive me?
Sandi: Of course I beleive you. It's just too pathetic to imagine you without a date for the Prom.
Quinn: (nervously) Ha, ha. Be right back. (runs into the crowd and disappears)

(Tom and Daria are standing out on the dance floor)
Tom: Come on Daria, it'll be fun. Noone is watching you.
Daria: (Dubiously) Alright, but not for too long. My feet are already starting to hurt. My feet were not made to fit heels. (They start dancing. They are both equally awkward. They watch each other, stop dancing, then start laughing and continue dancing)
Daria: Get on the Soul Train.
Tom: Woo, woo!
(Quinn runs across the background followed by Sandi a few seconds later)
Daria: This looks to be the running gag for the evening.
Tom: It's all fun and games until someone puts an eye out.
(Jodie and Mack dance near)
Jodie: Daria, Tom, how are you?
Mack: Hey.
Daria: Fine.
Tom: Pretty good. Doesn't Daria look great? (Daria blushes)
Jodie: Very. You two make a cute couple. How do you like Jane's decorations?
Daria: Very warholian.
Tom: Worth looking at for fifteen minutes.
Jodie: Well, we'll see you later. (Jodie and Mack dance off)
(Jane walks up. She is dressed in a dark red dress)
Jane: Yo.
Daria: Hey.
Tom: How are you? You look nice.
Jane: Good. You?
Tom: Pretty good. Doesn't Daria look great? (Daria blushes)
Jane: She does clean up nice, doesn't she?
Daria: I will still kill you.
Jane: You aren't running anywhere in those heels. You guys want to get something to drink?
Daria: Sure.
Tom: Sounds good to me.
(They walk off towards the drink table. Quinn runs past followed a few seconds later by Sandi)

(Daria, Jane and Tom are sitting at a table with drinks in front of them)
Daria: The decorations look good. Cheap and tacky, just like Warhol.
Jane: Thanks, I thought it would bring out the cheap and tacky side of Lawndale High.
Tom: Are you sure you want to do that? It might be hard to put it back.
Daria: Is there a non cheap and tacky side?
(Quinn goes by, then comes back, followed closely by Sandi)
(Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neil dance by. Ms. Barch is leading)
Tom: Was that woman leading?
Jane: Yeah, she's a domin-
Daria: atrix.
Upchuck: (from the dj booth) This one goes out to all the ladies. Rowwr! (Aerosmith - ["Don't want to miss a thing"] begins to play. Daria and Tom look at each other, then the dance floor, then Jane)
Jane: You two crazy kids go dance.
Daria: Are you sure?
Tom: We don't have to.
Jane: Go on. Have fun. I'll be waiting.
(They get up and go onto the dance floor.)
Jane: (wistful) To what might have been. (drinks her drink in one gulp) Damn, they do make a nice couple.
(Daria and Tom are slow dancing)
Daria: Tom. . .I. . .I really like going out with you.
Tom: I really like going out with you, Daria. (Daria leans her head on Tom's chest)

(Kevin and Brittany dance by. Kevin is in a tux with blue and yellow trim. Brittany is in a formal cheerleading uniform)
Kevin: Hey babe, it's Daria and her brother.
Daria: Here we go again.
Brittany: No, Kevvy, Daria is dating Jane's boyfriend.
Kevin: Jane is dating Daria's brother?
Daria: We need to go, I'm turning into a pumpkin at midnight.
Tom: You don't want to be around when it happens. Very messy. (Daria and Tom dance off leaving Kevin and Brittany more confused looking than before)
(Quinn runs past followed a few seconds later by Sandi)

(Outside the country club. Quinn darts out the door and hides behind some bushes. Sandi comes out, looks around and then goes back in)
Quinn: Dammit. (Quinn starts crying quietly)

(Tom walks out of the men's restroom. Mr. DiMartino steps in front of him)
Tom: Yes?
DiMartino: YOU are Miss Morgendorffer's ESCORT this evening?
Tom: Yes.
DiMartino: Miss Morgendorffer is ONE of the few students I RESPECT and like. If you were to HURT her in any way... (cracks knuckles and leans in on Tom)
Tom: (puts his hands up) I have no ulterior motives. I just really like Daria.
DiMartino: GOOD. We did NOT have this little conversation. (walks into the men's room)
(Back at the table. Tom walks over, shaking his head)
Tom: Is DiMartino the one with the bulging eye?
Daria: Yeah. Why?
Tom: No reason.

(Montage of Daria and Tom dancing, Daria, Tom and Jane sitting at a table talking, and Daria and Tom dancing to the last dance)

Daria: Jane, do you need a ride home?
Jane: Sure.
(Daria, Jane, and Tom walk outside)
Daria: Quinn? what are you doing out here? (Quinn's mascara has run a little)
Quinn: Nothing. (bt) Hiding from Sandi. Is the Prom over?
Daria: Yeah. Let's go. (hands Quinn a tissue)
(Everyone piles into Tom's car)
Tom: Where to first?
Daria: (Looks at Quinn) Anyone in the mood for pizza?
Jane: Here, here.
Tom: Sure.
Quinn: (uncertain) Am I included?
Daria: (nods) Yes.
Quinn: Ok.
Tom: Hold tight. we're about to go to (bt) ludicrous speed!
Daria: Ludicrous Speed, go!
Jane: What's the matter, Colonel Sanders, chicken?
Quinn: Huh?
Daria: Nevermind.

(Montage of everyone in a booth at Pizza King eating pizza and talking. Initially, Quinn is quiet, but starts taking part in the conversation. they leave, dropping Jane off, then Quinn getting out and going inside.)

Daria: Goodnight. I had a wonderful time.
Tom: So did I. Let's do this again sometime.
Daria: (smiling) Ok. (They kiss)
Tom: Goodnight, Daria. (Daria goes inside)
(inside the Morgendorffer residence)
Quinn: Thanks.
Daria: For what.
Quinn: For inviting me out for pizza. And not saying anything about me not having a date.
Daria: Ok. Thanks for helping me with my clothes. (bt) We're not going to hug are we?
Quinn: Not unless you want to. Do you?
Daria: I. . .no. (Daria turns away, then back and they hug. As they hug a camera flash goes off)
Jake: My girls.
Daria & Quinn: Daaaaaad!
Daria: You grab Dad, I'll grab the camera.

The End.