THE REST OF MY DAMN LIFE (SERIES TWO): A Ranting Klown series

 

 

 

EPISODE 16

THE SWEDE AND THE GRAPEFRUIT

(Daria tries out for the campus paper, while Jane suffers burn-out as a result of her academic life)

 

 

Scene I (INT, Morning, Neill and Daria's Dorm)

 

 

(Daria walks into kitchen to see Neill preparing breakfast)

 

DARIA

Neill? Why are you here so early? Shouldn't you be trying to sleep with the collective student body?

 

NEILL

Probably, I just don't feel like it today, so I thought I'd sleep in

 

DARIA

Its 7AM

 

NEILL

That is sleeping in for a farm boy

 

DARIA

What are you making?

 

NEILL

Cornflakes (holds up cornflakes), Beer (Hold up Beer), Beer flakes.

 

DARIA

Beer flakes?

 

(Neill pours beer into cereal bowl)

 

NEILL

The breakfast of champions!

 

DARIA

And the cirrhosis of the liver

 

NEILL

Whatever, hey, what are you doing up so early? Shouldn't you still be dreaming of your fiery revenge or something emo like that?

 

DARIA

Nah, I have a creative writing assignment to start, and I woke up with an idea.

 

NEILL

Let me guess. Is it a story of a young stud, possibly from an exotic land, who by day is a legendary Casanova, but by night, is an even more legendary Casanova?

 

DARIA

Yes, I call it 'Delusions of a Heat Stroke Victim'

 

NEILL

Harsh....

 

(Daria leaves)

 

A FEW HOURS LATER

 

(Daria is sitting at the computer, typing)

 

(There is a knock at the door)

 

(Daria opens it)

 

CHRISTIE

Hey

 

DARIA

Hey

 

CHRISTIE

Can I come in?

 

DARIA

Depends, do you have the weapon?

 

CHRISTIE

Weapon?

 

DARIA

Sorry, wrong dictator...

 

(Christie enters)

 

CHRISTIE

So...what's up?

 

DARIA

Just plotting the demise of our government

 

CHRISTIE

Cool. Listen, Sandi and I have a break today, so we were thinking if its okay with Jane, we could all meet up for lunch somewhere...

 

DARIA

I got class at 2, but I think I can swing it...I'll have to call Jane though... Hey, if you two have the day off, shouldn't you....you know....

 

CHRISTIE

Be in the throes of passion?

 

DARIA

Uh...yeah

 

CHRISTIE

Well, we would but do you know the price of batteries these days?....

 

(Daria looks awkward)

 

CHRISTIE

Okay, change of topic....so, what are you really doing?

 

DARIA

Writing something for class

 

CHRISTIE

Cool....can I look?

 

DARIA

I don't know...

 

CHRISTIE

I'm a biology major, I get impressed by any sort of writing....

 

DARIA

Well, when you put it like that....

 

CHRISTIE

Too late! (Christie reading screen)...hmm...'Confessions of a Pyromaniac'.....good title

 

DARIA

Yeah

 

(Christie continues to read)

 

CHRISTIE

Wow...this is good, you should write for the campus paper...

 

DARIA

But that would involve voluntary extra-curricular activity...and that would result in the collapse of the universe as we know it...

 

CHRISTIE

You should...we should probably have more than one person in our little clique controlling the masses...

 

DARIA

What do you mean?

 

(Neill enters)

 

NEILL

Man, I could really go for some beer flakes right about now...

 

DARIA

I can see your point

 

Scene II (INT, Day, Pizza Palace)

 

(Christie, Daria, Sandi and Jane in 'Pizza Palace')

 

SANDI

I hear this place has the worst Pizza in Boston, I should know, we serve the worst beer in Boston.

 

CHRISTIE

So, Jane, how go the classes?

 

JANE

They're going so damn well that I'm thinking about taking out the dean's office....hey Daria, do you know where I can get some plutonium in this town?

 

DARIA

Hey, if I knew that, you'd all be dead by now, and I'd be cackling from my fortress of doom

 

CHRISTIE

Freshman life got you down?

 

JANE

Yeah, it's just a lot of theory...you know, impressionism, cubism, Dadaism and a few other isms that I didn't know even existed...but I ,in my naïveté, thought that going to art school, that maybe, just maybe, I'd get to produce some art!

 

CHRISTIE

Give it time, you're in first semester freshman year, they like to test you to see if you drop out or not. Then they'll give you some fun stuff to do, before systematically trying to make you cry for your mommy.

 

SANDI

Thank God I dropped out...now I just have to put up with grown men crying during my shift

 

JANE

It's not all bad though...the lasagne is marginally better than the stuff in Lawndale

 

DARIA

A doorstop is marginally better than the lasagne in Lawndale...a rancid doorstop

 

CHRISTIE

So, how's your roommate working out? I remember my first roommate, insisted that she play whale songs to get to sleep. Of course, while she was asleep, I changed the cassette to the Starr report on tape...good times. True story, she now works in a Senators office...

 

JANE

I can see how you and Daria get along....my roommates cool, very quiet

 

SANDI

The Holy Grail eh?

 

CHRISTIE

The quiet roommate...

 

(Steve and a couple of other guys enter)

 

CHRISTIE

This can only end in hilarity...or stupidity. The two are interchangeable

 

(Steve walks across to their table)

 

STEVE

So, baby....what's up?

 

SANDI

Isn't the lad so eloquent?

 

STEVE

So this chick's the one you're going around with now huh? (Referring to Sandi)

 

CHRISTIE

I guess so

 

STEVE

How about you baby? (Referring to Jane) you into men?

 

JANE

Men? Sure.

 

STEVE

How would you like the time of your life baby?

 

JANE

I said men, not boys...

 

(Cry of 'Burn!' comes from the other guys)

 

DARIA

You know, this behavioural pattern is just the example I need to complete my repressed homosexuality paper, tell me young man, have you seen Brokeback Mountain?

 

(Steve looks awkward and leaves)

 

SANDI

There is much promise in this young one

 

CHRISTIE

Yes, the force is strong with this one...imagine if she wrote for the campus paper!

 

JANE

You, Daria Morgandorffer...Are thinking of doing something extra-curricular? The Gods have gone mad I tell ye!

 

DARIA

Christie's thinking, I'm ignoring

 

CHRISTIE

C'mon Daria! Don't you have the urge to take down the man?

 

DARIA

I'm working in acquiring the plutonium...

 

(The group look around)

 

SANDI

Wow, I'm surprised we haven't been arrested yet...

 

CHRISTIE

You should write for the paper, could look good on your resume...

 

DARIA

Because these days, 4 years of hard work aren't enough to get noticed...

 

JANE

That's our girl, always willing to try new things...

 

CHRISTIE

Fine Daria, give me one reason, apart from apathy why you won't write for the paper...

 

(Daria attempts to retort, but can not come up with anything)

 

CHRISTIE

Yeah, that's what I thought!

 

Scene III (INT, Late afternoon, Brad's Dorm)

 

(Brad and Neill are in the kitchen)

 

BRAD

Dude, beer flakes rock!

 

NEILL

See? Breakfast of champions...

 

BRAD

Dude, it's like 1 in the afternoon...

 

NEILL

It wasn't really meant as accurate reflection of time there buddy...

 

BRAD

Cool

 

NEILL

So, how go the classes Bazza?

 

BRAD

This semester, pretty good. Lots of creative writing...now that I can do

 

NEILL

So Daria won't be your tutor anymore?

 

BRAD

Guess not...

 

NEILL

Disappointed?

 

BRAD

Kinda, it's like, she taught me all this new stuff, and made me feel good because I could learn all this new stuff. Before, I thought I was going to crash and burn, and end up playing on the subway for the rest of my life....

 

NEILL

Still can. I've seen plenty of buskers with college degrees...although they were philosophy majors....

 

Scene IV (INT, Early evening, Raft Newspaper building)

 

(Daria and Christie approach a building, with Christie pushing Daria all the while)

 

CHRISTIE

Go on, what have you got to lose?

 

DARIA

My dignity?

 

CHRISTIE

What dignity?

 

DARIA

My Soul?

 

CHRISTIE

Come now Daria, we both know you lost that a fair while ago...

 

DARIA

Damn you....

 

(They walk into the building)

 

(Inside is a busy office, your typical paper office, people running around like headless chooks, that sort of thing)

 

(Daria and Christie walk up to reception)

 

RECEPTIONIST

Yes?

 

CHRISTIE

My friend here would like to become a staff writer

 

RECEPTIONIST

Any experience?

 

DARIA

No. Oh well, this was a bad idea, let's go...

 

(Daria starts to walk off)

 

CHRISTIE

Wait, she's a lit student...

 

RECPETIONIST

Why didn't you tell me miss....?

 

CHRISTIE

Morgandorffer, Daria Morgandorffer.

 

(Receptionist types on keyboard)

 

DARIA

If they find out about all those bombings, I'm blaming you...

 

RECPETIONIST

Wow! Nice G.P.A! Not usual for a freshman, I'll tell you what, I'll take you into Harry's office, he'll decide.

 

(The receptionist leads them off)

 

(Receptionist knocks on door)

 

HARRY

(On phone) How the hell is that possible!? He said what!? When!? Can we still salvage this? ARRRGGGHHHH! Fine! Just do what you can!

 

RECEPTIONIST

Harry? We have a potential staff writer here

 

HARRY

Show them in...

 

(Daria and Christie enter)

 

HARRY

Now, I'm pretty sure Nancy only used the singular form of writer, so which one of you is applying?

 

CHRISTIE

My comrade here...

 

HARRY

Hey, do I know you from somewhere?

 

CHRISTIE

Unless you happened to participate in the campus luge championships, then no...

 

HARRY

Hey you're the campus les.....uhh...so you wanted to apply? (To Daria)

 

DARIA

Sure, seems a waste of a trip otherwise...

 

HARRY

Just let me get your detail miss....

 

DARIA

Morgandorffer...

 

(Harry types)

 

HARRY

Impressive...and you have no experience?

 

DARIA

None that I know of...

 

HARRY

I tell you what....go to the Random Pigeon gig tonight, get 200 words on my desk first thing tomorrow. Now Brad Lee quit for some reason, try to see if you can find out what that reason is....

 

DARIA

Ok...I guess...

 

HARRY

Then I'll see you nice and early tomorrow....

 

(Phone rings and Harry picks up)

 

HARRY

Got to take this...

 

(Daria and Christie leave)

 

HARRY

I don't care if it's unethical or indeed illegal, just get me that story!

 

Scene V (INT, Early evening, Jane's Dorm)

 

(Jane sitting at computer in dorm, typing away)

 

JANE

I swear, if I see that paperclip one more time, I'm going to kill somebody...

 

(Lucy enters)

 

LUCY

Hi Jane, do you mind if I practice in here?

 

JANE

If you don't mind me threatening Bill Gates loudly...

 

LUCY

I guess that's alright.....

 

(Lucy sets up violin, and starts to play)

 

JANE

Wow, that's really good

 

LUCY

Thanks, it's one of my own compositions...

 

JANE

I wish I had to create some stuff....

 

LUCY

Oh yeah, I heard about that...bummer...hey, who was that guy in here a couple of nights ago?

 

JANE

Who? Neill? A friend.

 

LUCY

So you don't mind if I put the moves on him?

 

JANE

Are you even the type to put moves on anybody?

 

LUCY

Hey! I can be sexy when I want to...believe me

 

JANE

I'm sure you can...

 

LUCY

The guys go wild for a redhead...

 

JANE

Actually, that does make sense...it would explain why Quinn was able to control the boys without going to second base....

 

LUCY

What?

 

JANE

Nothing...

 

LUCY

So you and this guy have nothing going on?

 

JANE

Neill's a cool guy...that's it.

 

LUCY

Because I felt some energy between you two, and you did say that you were going out with him again tonight...

 

JANE

Yeah...aren't I allowed to have a friend of the opposite sex?

 

LUCY

I guess so...

 

JANE

Besides, we both know there's nowhere to go....

 

(Lucy picks up photos)

 

LUCY

Nice photos, nice composition....assignment?

 

JANE

No, holiday snaps

 

LUCY

I love the light level in this....

 

JANE

Well good for you....you want a copy?

 

LUCY

Yeah...

 

JANE

I'll get some for you tonight....

 

LUCY

Wait...that guy took these?

 

JANE

Yes...

 

LUCY

I didn't know he was a photography student....

 

JANE

He isn't, he does economics... (Confused)

 

Scene VI (INT, night, Daria and Neill's Dorm)

 

CHRISTIE

Anyhow, it should be really easy to get the information; after all, you tutor Brad Lee

 

DARIA

Well you do have a point...

 

CHRISTIE

Of course I do, I'm just good.

 

DARIA

I'm not sure about this whole writing for the paper thing...it makes me feel dirty...

 

CHRISTIE

The good kind of dirty?

 

DARIA

The bad kind

 

CHRISTIE

What is there not to love? You control all the sycophants with the power of your words, I pull the strings behind the scenes, and together we can take over Raft. Then we can finally get rid of that damn bell tower!

 

DARIA

Wouldn't the shop lose business if there wasn't a stop on the campus tour nearby?

 

CHRISTIE

Hmm...I guess. I haven't thought this through have I?

 

DARIA

It's just afraid that if I write for the damn paper, then I'll find it's controlled by the campus, and I don't know, I guess I'd want to be my own voice

 

CHRISTIE

It probably is controlled by the administration, which means you'll have to fight for everything, fight for your right to be heard on the issues!

 

DARIA

What would you know about not being heard?

 

CHRISTIE

When a woman loves another woman....

 

DARIA

Point taken

 

(Brad enters)

 

BRAD

Hey ladies, have any of you seen my pick?

 

CHRISTIE

Have you checked behind building 2?

 

BRAD

Behind building 2? Oh yeah....good times.....

 

DARIA

Brad, can I ask you something?

 

BRAD

You? Sure

 

DARIA

Why did you leave the Random Pigeons?

 

BRAD

Uhh.....no reason....I just felt like the group...uhh...was like...stifling my creativity....yeah....you know what? I think I did leave it behind building 2.....bye!

 

(Brad makes a hasty exit)

 

CHRISTIE

Well, we have to go to that gig now!

 

DARIA

No we don't, the band were quite clearly stifling his creativity...there's uhh....nothing else to this story

 

CHRISTIE

He leaves at the peak of their popularity? I can't seriously see you believing his story, or do you have other interests in this story?

 

DARIA

No...

 

CHRISTIE

Then I can't see any reason why we don't go to the Pimento, do a little research...

 

DARIA

Damn you...

 

CHRISTIE

Oh yeah, who's my bitch! That's right...you are! Actually, that's quite awkward; I'll just be quiet now

 

DARIA

Good plan.

 

Scene VII (INT, Night, McBride's Bar)

 

NEILL

So...anyhow, that's how you make beer flakes

 

JANE

Fascinating stuff

 

SANDI

Who would have thought that making beer flakes involved temperature control?

 

NEILL

Oh yeah, it's a very scientific process....

 

JANE

Speaking of processes, do you have the negatives of those photo's you took of Daria?

 

NEILL

Probably...why?

 

JANE

My roommate wants one

 

SANDI

She an admirer of the female form?

 

JANE

Lucy? I doubt it...she was quite adamant that she liked guys...

 

NEILL

And yet she wants the photo's...

 

JANE

Says she admires the shots for their artistic qualities....

 

NEILL

I'm sure she does...

 

SANDI

Sounds like she's admiring other qualities....

 

JANE

Shouldn't you be serving people?

 

SANDI

I could be, but it's been a slow night...

 

(Jane sighs)

 

NEILL

What's got you blue spunky?

 

JANE

I've been writing about art so much that I have no inspiration to create any art

 

SANDI

Damn, that must suck

 

NEILL

Like this guy about to right here... (Referring to guy at other end of bar)

 

JANE

What do you mean?

 

NEILL

Observe young apprentice, Sandi, what did that guy order that girl over there?

 

SANDI

I believe it was a beer

 

NEILL

You see, when you order a drink at the bar for a chick, you make it something that chicks will like, like some sort of sugary watered down crap, like a slippery nipple, Midori, or if you're in my neck of the woods, a fluffy duck.

 

SANDI

Hmm, you have a point

 

NEILL

And now watch as the girl receives the beer. Look at the expression on her face; she's kinda bemused by it all. She can't tell whether or not she's been cracked onto, or if this is some sort of joke.

 

JANE

You're good at this

 

NEILL

It's what I do. Now, look at the swagger as that guy walks over, that's not a confident swagger at all...he's nervous. Let's listen now children, to his opener...

 

GUY

Uhh....hey...so...what's up?

 

NEILL

This isn't going to go well...

 

GUY

So...I noticed you from across the room....you're hot....

 

NEILL

Look at the girl, she's kinda scared

 

GIRL

Ummm....OK....that's....nice

 

NEILL

I've got to go and save the situation....it's been nice ladies, we should do this again some time

 

(Neill picks up jacket and walks over to guy and girl)

 

NEILL

Hey baby, thanks for waiting for me....what's this? You got me a beer? I'm so glad you're my girlfriend!

 

(Neill sits down next to girl)

 

GUY

Whoa...didn't know you were....OK...I'll go....

 

NEILL

No worries

 

(Guy leaves hastily)

 

GIRL

Who are you?

 

NEILL

I'm Neill (drinks beer) How's it going luv?

 

(Girl giggles)

 

NEILL

Well, I'm off...

 

GIRL

Wait....so you're not going to hit on me or anything? (pseudo-disappointed/flirting)

 

NEILL

Not looking for anything. I just saw someone in distress and a free beer...see you around

 

(Neill exits)

 

JANE

Wow, he's like a modern day demented superhero

 

SANDI

With none of the cool powers

 

Scene VIII (INT, night, The Pimento)

 

DARIA

Well, no scoop here, let's go...

 

CHRISTIE

We just got here...

 

DARIA

Yeah, but that stain looks like it could be a health and safety issue

 

CHRISTIE

This whole bar is a health and safety violation, didn't stop you before...

 

(Christie drags Daria into the Pimento)

 

(An announcer on stage is speaking to the crowd)

 

ANNOUNCER

Okay Pimento Patrons! Are you ready to Rock?!

 

SOMEBODY FROM CROWD

No!

 

ANNOUNCER

Give it up for the Random Pigeons!

 

(The Random Pigeons minus Brad go up on stage)

 

KIRK

OK Rock Fans! Get ready to Rock out with the Random Pigeons! Bigger and Better than ever before!

 

(Band start to play awful music, accompanied with booing from crowd)

 

CHRISTIE

And to think, I thought they were bad before...

 

DARIA

And to think, their set is only another hour

 

CHRISTIE

Good God. You always have to find the worst in everything, don't you?

 

DARIA

It's what I do....that and launder money on the side....

 

(Daria and Christie standing, bored out of their skulls)

 

ONE HOUR LATER

 

KIRK

Alright! That was the first set! We'll be back after a 20 minute break!

 

(By this point in time, most people have already left, and of those who remain, 82% of those people are blind drunk)

 

(Band departs back stage)

 

CHRISTIE

Now's our chance to sneak backstage and do all kinds of snooping...

 

DARIA

Goody

 

(They walk over to the backstage door, to have somebody stop them)

 

PRESTON

Sorry girls, I can't let you in...

 

DARIA

Preston? What are you doing here?

 

PRESTON

Working the door...there's something about being a 6'2" black guy that intimidates people

 

CHRISTIE

Listen, Preston, we just need to speak with the band for a few minutes...

 

PRESTON

Sorry, can't do it....I need this job...

 

CHRISTIE

Well okay, I can see that, perhaps if you go and get the band, they can decide whether or not to let us in...

 

PRESTON

I guess I can do that...

 

(Preston departs into back room)

 

DARIA

What exactly do you have planned?

 

CHRISTIE

Just play along....

 

(Preston comes back with bass player)

 

BASS PLAYER

These the girls? Can I help you?

 

CHRISTIE

Me and my girlfriend think you guys are great! We were just wondering if we come backstage and have some fun....

 

DARIA

Yes....fun

 

BASS PLAYER

Bi groupies....we've hit the big time! Come on through!

 

(Daria and Christie enter)

 

PRESTON

Idiots....but they pay me well enough...

 

Scene IX (INT, night, McBride's Bar)

 

JANE

So then the squirrel attacks the guy

 

SANDI

What is it with you and Daria and the obsession over animal attacks?

 

JANE

In Lawndale, there's very little to obsess over, it was either animal mauling, or the QB.

 

SANDI

Heaven forbid...

 

(Jane sighs)

 

SANDI

Still thinking about your workload?

 

JANE

It's not the load that's getting me down, it's the fact that I don't have to produce one piece of art in art college...I just thought that going to art college I would be producing a lot more. What's worse is that when I try to create, I just end up analysing my own work...I guess I have no reason to create....and that freaks me out...

 

MAN FROM ACROSS BAR

Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing you...

 

SANDI

You sure bub? From all the way over there, you must have some pretty good hearing...

 

MAN

(Chuckles) How do you do? My name is Lars Steffenson

 

JANE

Jane Lane...how may we help you Mr Steffenson?

 

LARS

May I ask...are you from BFAC?

 

JANE

How can you tell?

 

LARS

The general talk of your creativity being sapped

 

JANE

Well, I guess that's true

 

LARS

What you need is an audience, and I have an audience for your talent...

 

JANE

I'm listening

 

LARS

I run a shop downtown that sells artwork from burnt out BFAC artists such as yourself...

 

JANE

To my amazement, I'm still listening

 

LARS

I offer you the chance to get your work out there. Of course, I do take a small finders fee for each painting, but you can get back about 60% of the asking price...

 

SANDI

What's the catch? Do you expect her to paint nudes?

 

LARS

Nothing of the sort...but there is a small problem...

 

JANE

Oh?

 

LARS

I'm afraid that a lot of people go to BFAC and have your problem, so I have a lot of stock, so I can't promise massive sales, but I can promise you an audience...

 

JANE

Okay...what the hell? It's not really about the money, I just want an audience...

 

Scene X (INT, Late Night, Backstage)

 

BASS PLAYER

Okay ladies, so how do you want to do this?

 

CHRISTIE

Where's your lead singer?

 

DRUMMER

Kirk? He's an asshole, who needs him?

 

DARIA

You say that why?

 

BASS PLAYER

Just some pretty mean stuff he did...

 

DARIA

Does this have anything to do with why Brad Lee left?

 

DRUMMER

Yeah....I miss Brad.... (Looking forlorn)

 

CHRISTIE

What exactly did Kirk do?

 

BASS PLAYER

It doesn't matter....so....you gonna take off that top baby?

 

CHRISTIE

We find it hard to get in the mood when we have unanswered questions...right baby?

 

DARIA

Uhh...yeah

 

CHRISTIE

It's like that horrible week when we didn't have any sex whatsoever while we were waiting for the announcement of the winner of American Idol....

 

DRUMMER

Damn...no sex for a week....

 

DARIA

It would really help us get in the mood if we knew what happened to Brad....

 

BASS PLAYER

It would get us in the mood for revealing secrets if you two were to...I don't know....kiss...

 

DRUMMER

Yeah...

 

CHRISTIE

You boys sure know what you want don't you?

 

BASS PLAYER

We sure do...

 

CHRISTIE

I'll tell you what...if you tell us what happened to Brad, we'll go the whole way....you know...the enchilada, grapefruit, and sugarbat....the whole thing...

 

DRUMMER

Enchilada? Grapefruit? Sugarbat?

 

CHRISTIE

Why there's a lot more to lady love than what they show you on cheap porno sites....

 

(The two member confer)

 

BASS GUITARIST

Yes, we will tell you everything we know

 

DRUMMER

And then we will bear witness to new and exotic sensations....

 

DARIA

So, why did Brad leave?

 

BASS GUITARIST

All right, there was this girl right, and you have to understand that our Brad isn't exactly up there in the IQ stakes...

 

DARIA

I know that...

 

DRUMMER

He starts seeing her after a while, and she makes him feel really good...

 

CHRISTIE

So this girl and Brad were having a fling?

 

DRUMMER

Nah, I think the girl was his tutor in lit or something

 

(Daria looks mortified)

 

BASS GUITARIST

Anyhow, he starts to produce some really good stuff, so he gets confused and think he may be in love with the girl...

 

DRUMMER

And our fearless leader Kirk, seeing that he's producing really good stuff, tricks him into thinking that the feelings he may have are indeed love

 

BASS GUITARIST

Only the thing is, Brad did love this chick, but as a teacher. He loved her because she opened his eyes to a whole new world of potential...

 

DARIA

Oh...that explains a lot

 

DRUMMER

What?

 

DARIA

Nothing

 

DRUMMER

And that ass hat Kirk has to go and confuse the guy. Anyhow, Brad finds out he's being played, and he leaves the band....and now we suck...

 

CHRISTIE

Thank you boys

 

(Christie and Daria leave)

 

DRUMMER

Wait! Can you at least show us the Grapefruit!?

 

Scene XI (INT, morning, Harry's Office)

 

HARRY

Ahh, Daria is it? I believe I sent you out on a fact finding mission?

 

DARIA

Yes... (Hands Harry article)

 

(Harry starts to read)

 

HARRY

Huh...so it was creative differences after all...

 

END

 

-Will learning of Brad's confusion lead Daria to do something she may regret? Is Lars for real? Will the Random Pigeons survive the abandonment of Bard? Will Lucy make a move on Neill? What is 'the grapefruit'? All these questions and more, answered in coming episodes!-

 

 

(Authors Notes)

 

** That's number two of season two done! Stand by people for one of your favourite characters to go through some major changes!**

 

*Questions? Comments? Undisclosed payments? Ranting_klown@hotmail.com *