THE REST OF MY DAMN LIFE: A Ranting Klown series

 

 

EPISODE 5

ROSES HAVE THORNS

(Daria finds her anti-social outlook challenged, Neill issues a challenge of his own, while we get an insight into Neill's past)

 

Scene I (INT, Night, Daria and Neill's Dorm)

 

 

(Daria reading, Neill enters)

 

NEILL

G'Day Daria

 

(Daria mumbles)

 

NEILL

Right on sister...

 

(Daria Mumbles)

 

NEILL

What are you reading there?

 

(Daria mumbles)

 

NEILL

Monkey Purple Dishwasher Carnival Cigarette...

 

(Daria mumbles)

 

NEILL

Oh Daria. Let us stop this game and consummate our love...I have pined for you from afar, and I feel it is time we take our relationship to the next level

 

(Daria mumbles)

 

NEILL

If you wanted, Brad could be involved somehow...

 

(Daria mumbles)

 

NEILL

Or maybe this Trent fella...

 

DARIA

What? Trent?

 

NEILL

So...this Trent...he means a lot to you?

 

DARIA

What? No...

 

NEILL

Well, usually when I propose we get involved in a threesome, it gets more reaction than a mumble. Believe me...I know...And this Trent fella got roused you better than any sordid offer could...

 

(Daria blushes)

 

NEILL

Want to talk about it?

 

DARIA

Like I want a stake through my heart

 

NEILL

Come on...could help having an impartial sounding board...

 

(Daria considers)

 

NEILL

Plus, I'm a bloke...I may have some invaluable insight into what ever you may be going through...

 

DARIA

Ok, Well, Dr Phil...do you really want to know?

 

NEILL

My name's Neill... (Confused, not knowing who Dr Phil is)

 

DARIA

I'm afraid that the similarities between Brad and my...best friend's brother...who I kinda liked for awhile are uncanny, and I'm afraid that I may regressing to a stage of mid-adolescence...

 

(Neill looking horrified)

 

DARIA

Plus, add that to the fact that I'm getting over my ex-boyfriend of 3 months ago, and you have yourself one hell of a messy situation...

 

NEILL

Well, I walked right into that one didn't I?

 

DARIA

Yep

 

NEILL

Well, my advice is to get smashed

 

DARIA

Your wisdom is like a babbling brook...that has run dry...or was never wet.

 

NEILL

Hey, don't knock it until you try it...It works surprisingly well...in fact...on Saturday night there's a massive party...a 'kegger' I believe you call it...

 

DARIA

Yes... getting drunk and having frat boys drool over me is an ideal solution to my problem...

 

NEILL

There's a saying in my country...'when you're feelin' blue...getting pissed and belting out Wonderwall is gold'

 

DARIA

Well, despite your sage advice...I think I'll abstain from the all night...ragin' kegger.

 

NEILL

You know, one these days, you're going to have to join the rest of us miscreants down here...you can't be on that pedestal forever

 

DARIA

I can if they install safety rails

 

NEILL

Well, if you change your mind...you know where I am...I've got to go now, just came in to check on you...I've got a show to prepare for...

 

DARIA

You prepare for your shows?

 

NEILL

Prepare...drink...same thing...see you when I see you then...

 

DARIA

Yeah...

 

(Neill leaves)

 

(Daria goes back to reading Catcher in the Rye)

 

(Daria checks her watch and gets up)

 

Scene II (INT, Night, Raft Coffee House)

 

(Daria enters with her new uniform)

 

CHRISTIE

Ahh, Daria...welcome to hell (Chuckles evilly)

 

DARIA

This isn't hell; I've already been there and gotten a fruit basket for my trouble

 

CHRISTIE

Well, this is Satan's division on earth...Come on; well start you out on register...

 

(They both walk over to the cash register)

 

CHRISTIE

This is the cash register...this is the money...the money is good.

 

DARIA

Thank you captain obvious

 

CHRISTIE

Sorry, I'm required by protocol to give you this speech.... (Deadpan) and this is the centre of interpersonal relations between staff and clientele

 

DARIA

And the centre of techno-babble jargon that was invented by corporate baby boomers in order to give themselves a sense of self importance

 

CHRISTIE

Please...I've got this speech memorised...oh look, here comes a customer now. This is an ideal opportunity to engage your interpersonal expertise in delivering quality service for our valued customers.

 

(Daria gives Christie a stern look)

 

CHRISTIE

What?

 

DARIA

(To customer) Hey....can I take your order?

 

CUSTOMER

Yes...I'll have a non-dairy, non-fat, macchiato, soy based...with two of the non gluten cookies you have there...

 

DARIA

Are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable with a big cup of air?

 

(Customer considers, Christie give Daria a glare)

 

DARIA

I mean...that will be $7 please...

 

(Customer gives Daria the money...customer walks away)

 

CHRISTIE

You know we try to sell things right?

 

DARIA

I was under the impression that we were a terrorist cell

 

CHRISTIE

Listen, I know it's hard...but try to curb the post modern aspects of your personality would you? I know, it'll be hard...it was hard when I first started as well...but you'll get used to it

 

DARIA

Get used to what?

 

CHRISTIE

You know, selling out for the green

 

DARIA

Ah

 

CHRISTIE

Apart from that, you should be okay...Hey, whenever you feel you may be getting overwhelmed, consider that Rodney the Wonder Kid still has a job here.

 

(Shots of Rodney breaking the barista machine)

 

CHRISTIE

(Sighs) Rodney... (Looks to door and sees a 40 year old man walk in)...oh no...Daria...that's our supervisor...try to act nice ok? I took a risk in hiring you...

 

DARIA

You what?

 

CHRISTIE

Well, if you were me, would you hire...you?

 

DARIA

I guess not...

 

CHRISTIE

Hello Sir! How wonderful to see you today!

 

MAN

(Grumbles) Who's the new girl?

 

CHRISTIE

Daria, she has some very good potential

 

DARIA

(Her best sunny voice) Hi! How are you doing today?

 

MAN

Fine...I guess...Christie...do we have our profit reports from the last quarter yet?

 

CHRISTIE

No sir, they haven't come back yet

 

MAN

Well, I'll be back then...nice to meet you...Daria (mispronounced)

 

DARIA

Nice to meet you too!

 

(Man departs)

 

CHRISTIE

Wow, I'm impressed.

 

DARIA

Yeah, well...

 

CHRISTIE

If you can keep that up for another 3 hours, you'll be one of our star performers!

 

DARIA

Ok, who are you and what have you done with Christie?

 

CHRISTIE

This is me at work...there has to be a difference when you work with people...

 

DARIA

Oh...ok then...

 

(From Radio)

 

RADIO

Ok, and we're back...this is Neill Hayden filling in for the Randy Goat...he's in hospital at the moment and we all wish him a swift and speedy recovery.

 

(Cut to Radio Booth)

 

NEILL

I've been thinking in the past few hours about challenges. I'm not talking how many beers you can skull in 10 minutes...I'm talking about doing something completely out of your nature...so if your not inclined to throw a ball around...join a team...if your not inclined to read...read Moby Dick....I'm talking about seeing how the other half lives...So I'm putting forward a patented Neill Hayden challenge to our listeners. Do something completely different for an entire week. For example, I'm going to challenge myself to not to engage in any sexual for an entire week...A challenge I know, but it will be interesting to see how I cope. The most important thing about this challenge is that you have to keep at it for a week. So, I'm opening up the lines now, let's hear what you are going to do to challenge yourself in the next week.

 

   

Scene III (INT, Morning, Daria and Neill's Dorm)

 

(Daria walks around in a state of disorientation, as you do in the morning)

 

NEILL

(Cooking) G'Day Daria!

 

DARIA

Ugh...Hey...what are you cooking?

 

NEILL

Blueberry pancakes? Want some?

 

DARIA

Umm...sure

 

(Neill serves Daria and Daria takes a bite)

 

DARIA

When did you become such a good cook?

 

NEILL

I told you, I used to cook for the family...hey...these could use some cinnamon...hey Daria...can you go into my room and find a blue box under my bed...I think that has some cinnamon in it.

 

DARIA

Ok...sure...

 

(Daria leaves, cut to Neill's room)

 

(Daria looks around. The room is in pristine order, with the odd Alfie Langer poster around)

 

(Daria reaches under the bed, and finds two boxes...one blue...one red)

 

(Daria looks around...and opens the red box out of curiosity)

 

(She finds lots of pictures of a young woman)

 

(Daria hears Neill approaching and suddenly buries the red box under the bed)

 

NEILL

Having trouble?

 

DARIA

Uhh...no...(opens blue box)..here it is...right here...in the blue box...

 

(Neill looks at Daria suspiciously)

 

NEILL

You know, if you wanted to borrow some condoms, all you had to do is ask...

 

DARIA

It's not that...

 

NEILL

Well ok then...

 

(Neill starts to leave)

 

DARIA

Who's the woman in the pictures? Girlfriend?

 

NEILL

You looked in the red box?

 

DARIA

(Guiltily) Yes

 

NEILL

(Getting angry) I didn't tell you that you could look in there...

 

DARIA

I know...it's just that

 

NEILL

Just what Daria! You just that you wanted to invade my privacy!...I'm sorry...I shouldn't be so harsh with you...I guess you were just curious...but...you know there's some things you don't want to talk about? Well, it's one thing I don't want to talk about...so just leave it ok?

 

DARIA

Umm...Ok...

 

NEILL

Ok then...(trying to regain composure) Shall we finish breakfast?

 

DARIA

Ok...

 

Scene IV (INT, Day, Christie's dorm)

 

(Christie and Daria watching Rebel without a Cause)

 

CHRISTIE

Hmmm...that's weird...we've known him for about 4 weeks now...I don't think he's ever gotten angry...

 

DARIA

Yeah...It was kinda scary...knowing that I caused him to get that angry

 

CHRISTIE

So...do you know anything about the woman in the pictures?

 

DARIA

No...he doesn't want to talk about it...

 

CHRISTIE

Ahh...the plot thickens...

 

DARIA

I don't think we should push him on it though...

 

CHRISTIE

What do you mean?

 

DARIA

Well, he went nuts when I saw the girl in the photos yes?

 

CHRISTIE

I believe so? What are you getting at?

 

DARIA

So, the girl is probably an ex-girlfriend...I think we should respect his privacy...I mean...he's respected mine...If he started asking about my ex, I'd tell him where to stick his questions...

 

CHRISTIE

You have an ex?

 

DARIA

You are aware of what I just said right?

 

CHRISTIE

Fine, you can apologise at training if you want...I'm going down to see him this afternoon...wanna come?

 

DARIA

Can't hurt...so you're watching him train now?

 

CHRISTIE

Listen...It's been a damn long time since I've had a friend of the male sex...I don't want to mess it up...in fact...I want to make it really strong...

 

DARIA

You're going to perve on the Cheerleaders aren't you?

 

CHRISTIE

Oh yeah. You know me all too well Morgandorffer...

 

DARIA

Well you may have a shot this week

 

CHRISTIE

Why?

 

DARIA

Because Neill has taken some sort of challenge to abstain for an entire week...

 

CHRISTIE

Neill? Abstain?

 

DARIA

I know...

 

CHRISTIE

I could really have some fun with this... (Chuckles evilly)

 

Scene V (EXT, Dusk, Football Training)

 

(Neill is sitting on the bleachers, reading)

 

(Cut to Daria and Christie)

 

DARIA

I didn't know that Neill reads...

 

CHRISTIE

Well, my guess is that he normally doesn't...but now he has no reason to pre-occupy himself with talking to the cheerleaders

 

DARIA

Ahh...well you've got to admire his commitment to half-baked ideas.

 

CHRISTIE

Yeah...makes my job even easier...

 

(Daria gives Christie a quizzical look)

 

CHRISTIE

Watch and learn young apprentice

 

(Christie walks over to Neill)

 

CHRISTIE

Hey Neill

 

(Neill looks up)

 

NEILL

G'day, G'day!

 

CHRISTIE

So, how's the experiment going?

 

NEILL

Not that well, it's only been 3 days, and already I'm getting frustrated...

 

CHRISTIE

Well that's a shame...I know what you mean...

 

NEILL

You've had the temptation to go downstairs lately too?

 

CHRISTIE

Not exactly...it's just that...I'm getting frustrated with women...you know?

 

NEILL

So...what...you're turning bi?

 

CHRISTIE

I don't know...I guess I just need a big....strong...man...to show me the ropes....It's a shame that you're on this self imposed ban.

 

(Neill looks quite flustered)

 

CHRISTIE

Because if you weren't... (Bites bottom lip)

 

(Neill on the verge of crying)

 

NEILL

Can it wait 4 days...7 hours...52 minutes?

 

CHRISTIE

I just don't know...this is the type of thing that only happens once in a lifetime you know?

 

(Neill is reduced to a quivering mess)

 

CHRISTIE

Well, I guess I'll see you later...

 

(Christie leaves)

 

(Christie resumes her seat next to Daria)

 

DARIA

Oh...you're good. When you put your mind to it...you're good.

 

CHRISTIE

Well, I've had a years' more experience than thou young apprentice...

 

DARIA

I only hope that I may reach the same lofty levels of manipulation that you have acquired

 

CHRISTIE

What can I say...it's a gift...

 

(Pan over to Coach on sidelines)

 

COACH

God Damn! I said reverse lateral on 32 and down! Not forward reverse lateral on 23 and down! Idiots!

 

(Man approaches)

 

COACH

Oh, hello Dean! What an unexpected surprise!

 

(The dean is 5'7", has neatly parted black hair, beady eyes, wearing black pants and a tweed jacket)

 

DEAN

So coach, do we have a shot at the trophy this year?

 

COACH

We have a dandy of a shot Dean Black! This foreign exchange program has given us one of the best kickers I've ever seen! That is quite the masterstroke on your part!

 

DEAN

So we may indeed have more glory at Raft this year...

 

COACH

God Willing...

 

DEAN

I may finally get on the cover of Dean weekly...

 

COACH

Yes sir!

 

(Pan to Daria and Christie)

 

(Steve approaches)

 

DARIA

Don't look now, I think we're about to be approached by the unwashed masses.

 

STEVE

(To Christie) Hey Babe... (To Daria) Chick

 

CHRISTIE

Oh, hi...I was just telling Neill that I need a big strong man...

 

STEVE

You do!?

 

CHRISTIE

Oh yes...I've realised that I do indeed have a disease...and I need a big, strong man to cure me...

 

(Steve is reduced to a quivering mess)

 

CHRISTIE

Well, I guess you just don't desire me anymore...Daria, shall we leave?

 

DARIA

You go...I've still got to talk to Neill

 

(Christie leaves)

 

STEVE

Wait! ( Steve runs after Christie...we then hear cries of anguish off screen from Steve)

 

(Neill, still in shock. Daria approaches)

 

DARIA

Hey

 

NEILL

Daria! What are you doing here?

 

DARIA

Well, I felt like some blood sport...and this is the closest thing to it...

 

NEILL

(Laughs) How can it be a blood sport?...with all this padding it's virtually impossible to injure people...you should try rugby...but, I digress...what are you really doing here?

 

DARIA

I just wanted to apologise for before...I know that...

 

NEILL

Listen...it's cool...just don't do it again

 

DARIA

Ok...How goes the challenge?

 

NEILL

Really, really bad...

 

DARIA

Suffering withdrawal symptoms?

 

NEILL

Kinda...just getting frustrated...finding it hard to remain master of my domain...but you'd know nothing about that would you Daria? (Asking sheepishly)

 

(Daria blushes)

 

NEILL

Ahh...its fun making you blush...I should do it more often...Listen...about before...the woman in the picture...FYI, I don't want to talk about it...ever? Ok?

 

DARIA

Yeah...sure...

 

NEILL

Have you given any thought to coming to the party on Saturday?

 

DARIA

Sure, I gave it some thought...and then quickly dismissed the whole idea...

 

NEILL

Come on Daria! You're going to have to go to a party some time in your life...why not start early?

 

DARIA

Because my persona calls for healthy doses of procrastination.

 

NEILL

So there's no chance you'd come? Even if I told you that Brad was going to be there...and there's an excellent chance that he may get drunk...

 

DARIA

Brad? (Blushes)

 

NEILL

You see, that is just so Fun! Like shooting fish in a barrel...but fun!

 

DARIA

Do they have a word for 'electro-shock therapy' in your country?

 

NEILL

Yeah, we call it 'hooking up a car battery to your nuts...' point taken...

 

DARIA

Well good. I need some new gator clamps anyhow...

 

Scene VI (INT, Night, Daria's dorm)

 

(Daria is talking to Jane via the web cam)

 

JANE

So then Jesse finds his shirt under the couch

 

DARIA

Jesse has a shirt?

 

JANE

Yeah, I know! I was surprised...and disappointed...

 

(Daria gives quizzical look)

 

JANE

What?

 

DARIA

Nothing...nothing...

 

JANE

Well at least I'm not shacked up with a psycho killer

 

DARIA

I don't think Neill is a killer

 

JANE

It would explain a lot though...the pristine room...the pictures of an unknown woman...the cinnamon...and of course we know that all serial killers know how to make great pancakes...legend has it that Charles Manson made a really good soufflé...

 

DARIA

It's just that I know he said not to ask about the woman in the photo's...and I'm going to respect that...I just can't get those images out of my mind though...

 

JANE

I'm telling you! Those are pictures of his victims...

 

DARIA

Aren't you worried that if he goes to jail...you'll never get the chance to jump him?

 

JANE

That's what the conjugal trailers are for...Onto other topics...you going to this party?

 

DARIA

Why would I want to?

 

JANE

Good point...I mean...if you wanted to be thrown up on by a boy with the IQ of 80, you could always have a baby. But then again...this Brad character may be drunk...

 

DARIA

Why does everyone keep on saying that?

 

JANE

What?

 

DARIA

Nothing...so what's happening on the Western Front

 

JANE

All quiet here (gives Daria a smile) I'd call your parents though...

 

DARIA

Why would I want to do that...I've just gotten rid of them...

 

JANE

I think your mother is getting even more high-strung, your dad is...well, he's practically the same...and Quinn is reasoning that now you're away, she should get twice the allowance...  

 

DARIA

That's it!..If they decide to put flower wallpaper in my room...my vengeance shall be terrible...I'll talk to you later...

 

JANE

Okay, see you later amiga.

 

(Daria walks over to the phone)

 

(Split screen with Quinn)

 

QUINN

Hello? If this is Jamie, I told you, I can't go out with just one of you! If this is Sandi...

 

DARIA

Hey Quinn...Is Mom there?

 

QUINN

Daria?

 

DARIA

Last time I checked...

 

QUINN

Why are you calling?

 

DARIA

I heard that you're planning of stealing my room for the extra closet space...you don't want to go in there...

 

QUINN

As if I would use your room! Why shouldn't I go in there?

 

DARIA

Let's just say...there may be a surprise...an icky surprise...

 

QUINN

Ewwwwww! Icky!

 

DARIA

Listen, is mom there or not?

 

QUINN

Like I'm supposed to know where she is...(calling out) Mooomm!

 

HELEN

Yes Quinn?

 

QUINN

Daria's on the phone...don't take long...I'm expecting calls...

 

(Helen runs to the phone)

 

HELEN

Daria!?

 

DARIA

No, this is the FBI, We want to take you in for questioning...

 

HELEN

It's so nice to get a call from you Daria!

 

DARIA

Yeah, well, I heard that you were going to paint my room...

 

HELEN

No we're not... (looking at can of paint)

 

DARIA

Are you sure...because you lie for a living...

 

HELEN

I resent that Daria! So, how's college?

 

DARIA

It's ok...Just like High School except my roommate gets angry if I look in his box and one of my best friends here is a lesbian...

 

HELEN

Hah Hah! Very funny Daria! Seriously...everything working out? How are you doing in classes...?

 

DARIA

Well, I'm 8 weeks ahead of the class...so I suppose I can't complain...wait...It's not stimulating enough...guess I can complain...

 

HELEN

Making friends?

 

DARIA

Surprisingly

 

HELEN

Well Good..

 

DARIA

I've uhh...got to go now. You know...Gamma People convention...

 

HELEN

Well Ok darling...call again soon!

 

DARIA

Yeah...sure...

 

Scene VII (INT, Night, Christie's dorm)

 

CHRISTIE

So...how goes the quest?

 

NEILL

Well, I can tell you that I have 1 day, 2 hours and...32 seconds left...

 

CHRISTIE

Wow...I admire your fortitude...

 

NEILL

Well it's good to go outside your comfort zone once in a while, you know? Gives you perspective...speaking of comfort zones...is your offer still valid?

 

CHRISTIE

Oh no...I'm afraid that was a one time thing...

 

NEILL

Damn

 

CHRISTIE

Convinced Daria to go to the party yet?

 

NEILL

Not as such...I thought that was your job...

 

CHRISTIE

You're her roomie!

 

NEILL

She's your friend!

 

CHRISTIE

Remind me why we're doing this again?

 

NEILL

To get her out of her comfort zone. Besides, from the first day I met her I said to myself 'Neill, It's your  job...nay...duty...to get her pissed and singin' Wonderwall'

 

CHRISTIE

So by "singin' Wonderwall" you mean....

 

NEILL

Actually belting out Wonderwall...believe me...Daria definitely isn't my type...for starters...I'm a sucker for a blonde...

 

CHRISTIE

Well, we need to get her to that party...so we can find out more about this Trent person....if she sees Brad...she may have another relapse

 

NEILL

Then the mystery shall be unravelled...we're very alike aren't we?

 

CHRISTIE

I guess so...so...do you have a plan?

 

NEILL

I think I may...I've got to go to the Library...

 

CHRISTIE

Why?

 

NEILL

I've got a report to type...

 

Scene VIII (INT, night, Daria and Neill's Dorm)

 

(Neill enters)

 

NEILL

Hey

 

DARIA

Hey

 

NEILL

Can you do me a favour?

 

DARIA

As long as it doesn't involve a rubber chicken...I suppose I may listen to your request...

 

NEILL

Can you check this report? I know you're a good writer...and I just need to Americanise my writing...you know...fix grammar, spelling and such...

 

DARIA

Ok...I suppose

 

NEILL

Cool...man...I can't wait for this party...it's going to be so damn hot! It's where my ban gets lifted...

 

DARIA

Where you surrender your head to your gonads?

 

NEILL

Exactly....are you sure you wont consider going?

 

DARIA

I'm damn sure... (Looks at paper)

 

(Title is: Politics in the Australasian Region)

 

DARIA

You're seriously taking a course on Australian government...won't that kind of be...really easy for you?

 

NEILL

Yep...easy 'A'

 

DARIA

Then what was the point of coming here?

 

NEILL

Whatever do you mean Daria?

 

DARIA

I mean...you come to college...college just isn't about the grades...it's about the experience...it's about challenging yourself...

 

NEILL

So you won't come to the party?

 

(Daria opens her mouth...and then realises the position she's in)

 

DARIA

I just screwed myself didn't I?

 

NEILL

Yep

 

DARIA

Damn ethical self-righteousness...

 

Scene IX (INT, Night, Frat House)

 

(Daria and Neill enter)

 

(Christie notices)

 

CHRISTIE

Hey, Daria! You came!

 

DARIA

Ugh...

 

CHRISTIE

Wow! How did you get to come Neill?

 

NEILL

It was easy...just a matter of tapping into Daria's moral system...speaking of easy...I'm off to break my ban

 

(Walks off, we then see a group of women with Neill)

 

CHRISTIE

Well, that didn't take long.

 

DARIA

Why are you here? Aren't you above frat parties?

 

CHRISTIE

Well yes and no....besides...girls in college are willing to experiment...and if they're tipsy...then it makes my job easier...

 

DARIA

Oh...Ok...

 

CHRISTIE

Speaking of experiments...I think I see one now...are you going to be okay?

 

DARIA

Yeah...sure

 

CHRISTIE

Ok...well I guess I'll see you around...

 

(Time lapse)

 

(Brad enters and approaches Daria, who is leaning on a wall and looking quite bored)

 

DARIA

V.O- Run! No, that'll be too obvious....take out everybody in the room...no...Prison clothing isn't for me...damn...too late...good one Morgandorffer...

 

BRAD

Hey Daria...haven't seen you around lately...

 

DARIA

Yeah...well.....yeah

 

BRAD

I hear that...what did you think about our gig at the Pimento?

 

DARIA

It...was....cool...

 

BRAD

Cool

 

DARIA

Yeah...

 

BRAD

So...how are you like...doing?

 

DARIA

Ok...I guess

 

BRAD

I hear that

 

DARIA

How....how are you doing?

 

BRAD

Hey...that's a cool band name...

 

DARIA

What is?

 

BRAD

How are you doing?

 

DARIA

V.O- From the same crappy name generator of the Random Pigeons...it's the How are you Doing Band!

 

DARIA

Cool

 

(Time lapse with Brad still talking to Daria)

 

BRAD

Because...it's all about the music you know? Going to take over the world with our Flamenco/Jazz/Metal vibe...

 

DARIA

Cool

 

DARIA

V.O- God...doesn't he talk about anything else?

 

BRAD

Well, I've got to go...I'll see you in class

 

DARIA

Yeah

 

(Brad leaves)

 

DARIA

Thank God.

 

(Switch over to Neill)

 

(Neill's now talking to 3 women)

 

NEILL

So, you say you're all gymnasts?

 

GYMNAST #1

Jah!

 

GYMNAST #2

We are also from Sweden!

 

NEILL

Swedish Gymnasts you say?

 

GYMNAST #3

Jah!

 

(Neill looks up)

 

NEILL

Thank you all mighty lord! (under breath)

 

NEILL

Listen...I don't suppose you want to get out of here? I have a dorm room that has a fantastic view of the historic Bell Tower...

 

GYMNAST #2

Jah!

 

NEILL

Okay...let's.....

 

(Neill sees Daria standing against wall, bored out of her skull)

 

NEILL

Lets...

 

GYMNAST #1

Jah?

 

NEILL

Let's take a raincheck... (Walks off to confused looks from gymnasts)

 

(Neill approaches Daria)

 

NEILL

Ready to go?

 

DARIA

I was ready to go before I got here...

 

NEILL

Well, let's go then...

 

DARIA

Okay...weren't you just talking to 3 Swedish Gymnasts...

 

NEILL

Yes...yes I was...

 

(Daria looks confused)

 

NEILL

Mates before Dates Daria, Mates before Dates...

 

(Daria looks appreciative)

 

(They depart)

 

Scene X (EXT, Night, Courtyard)

 

(Daria and Neill walking along)

 

DARIA

Wasn't tonight the night you came off your self-imposed ban?

 

NEILL

Yes it was Daria...yes it was...

 

DARIA

Well....thanks...

 

NEILL

Don't mention it...I guess there are some things you're not quite ready for yet huh?

 

DARIA

I guess so...maybe in the future I'll be able to get drunk and enjoy a party like all the other mindless drones...but not just yet...

 

NEILL

Hah...you think you have problems. I can't even get into a committed relationship.

 

DARIA

Well, I wish I could just let go every so often...you know

 

(They are walking when Neill suddenly stops)

 

(Shot of a rose, Neill is transfixed by it)

 

DARIA

Neill?...Are you ok?

 

(Shot of Neill looking depressed)

 

(**Flashback to a grave on red soil...a young Neill approaches the grave and puts a single red rose onto it**)

 

NEILL

(Softly) Sorry...It was my fault...

 

DARIA

Neill? Neill?

 

END

 

- What does Neill have to be sorry for? Will Christie succeed in finding subjects for her 'experiments'? Why is Daria all of a sudden off Brad? Is JFK really dead? All these questions answered in future episodes!-

 

 

(Authors Notes)

 

**Neill's plot developments will make sense...and already do for those who are astute. There are more characters coming soon, but I wanted to give y'all time to get familiar with the core characters first**

 

 

*Questions? Comments? Nihilistic rants? Ranting_klown@hotmail.com*