In Every Dream Home A Heartache
A Fanfic by Emo Fringe
All Daria characters are property of MTV
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Brief Synopsis: Daria's fantasy of being an only child comes true. Almost.

Lawndale - Early 21st Century

"Do you really think we should tell them now Jake?" Asked a very worried Helen.
"Definitely" replied Jake "we've kept it quiet for 20 years. We'd better break it to her soon or we won't be able to."
"But - "
"DAMMIT Helen! It's now or never!"
Helen gave a long, contemplative sigh, remembering what happened years ago.

Middleton College - Mid '70s

"I can't wait for you to meet my family, Jakey."
"What's up?"
"I hope I can say that to you sometime. I mean, my family aren't the model family."
"Well neither are mine. You can get aquainted with mine first. Besides, your standards are waay too high."
"Jake, stop being a silly!"
"Yeah. I guess you're right Helen. Let's go."

A fresh out of Middleton College Helen and Jake walked up to Jake's VW Beetle and set off to the Barksdale residence a few miles away from the college in the suburbs of Lawndale. Jake was still nervous and said nothing all the way to the Barksdale house.
"Jakey, it'll be fine."
"I know, I know."

Lawndale - Early 21st Century
It had been two years since Daria left Lawndale to go to college. Now she was back, changed, happier. She felt like she could get along with her parents and sister better now she'd been away to clear her head for a while. Now it was Christmas and she was with her family again.
"Happy Christmas Daria! It's great to see you again! How's college?"
"Good thanks. I'm getting used to it now."
"I knew you would. Well everything's fine around here. Quinn's applied for a beauty school in New York!"
"Wow Quinn, I'm actually proud of you for once."
"Thanks Daria! I never thought I'd hear that from you."
"You know, I'm kinda glad Mom and Dad didn't stop at one child."

Lawndale - Mid '70s

" - Now listen Jake, it's going to be fine."
"Really? Because - "
"Trust. Me."
Helen knocked on the door of the pristine two storey suburban house and was answered almost immediately by a tall blonde woman.
"Oh. Hello Rita." Said Helen bitterly.
"Hello Helen. Nice to see you. And who's this?"
"This is my boyfreind Jake."
"Nice to meet you. Do come in!"
"Or..." Said an unfamiliar monotone. "You could just stay out here. It'd be better than listening to these two bickering on about favouritism."
Jake laughed, then his face turned red.
"I'm Amy by the way. Helen and Rita's - sister."
Amy was a shortish twenty year old with wavy brown hair and glasses. She wore vaguely punkish clothes - Doc Martens, ripped up jeans and safety pinned t shirts. She kept make up to a minimum, but sometimes she would circle her eyes with a thick layer of black eyeliner.

Helen and Jake stayed at the Barksdale's for over a year. Helen couldn't wait to get out of there, but Jake was actually enjoying it there. Mostly because he had developed a strange crush on one of the Barksdale sisters.
"Your sister's really hot." Helen and Jake were watching a romantic movie in the Barksdale living room.
"Yes. I was always jealous of Rita when I was younger. She always got the dates, always so attractive and popular... But don't go near her. You're mine." She giggled a little.
"No, I mean your other sister. Amy."
"That's odd, Jake. That's really odd." Helen looked lke she was going to cry. "How can you say that? Do you love Amy more than you love me?"
Jake said nothing.
"Oh Jake... How could you?"
"I don't know. It's just - she's witty - she's charming - she's different to you and Rita."
"In what way?"
"She just is. I can't say why. I still love you though."
"Of course you do."
"No, really, I do. I'd marry you. Definitely."
"But you'd see Amy on the side wouldn't you? I knew you were no good when I met you. I'm going to bed."

Jake thought about Amy more than he thought about Helen when they were at the Barksdale's. Helen hardly spoke to Jake throughout the stay - she was mulling over all the events that had happened throughout their relationship. Their meeting in the college quad, going to festivals and demonstrations with Willow and Coyote, the anniversary of their first date, second dates, more dates... Now this. Helen reached into her bag and lifted out a brown wax candle. Hobbit. The commitment present from Jake. Sure, it was lame, but he took time on it. In another room, Jake showed Amy a leather bound copy of Das Capitale.
"That's so cool. Where did you get it?"
"Helen got it for me as an anniversary present. First date, not marriage! I'm thinking of proposing to her soon."
"Wow. You two really are in love. But who's to say you can't be in love with more than one person?"
She's thinking about it too. Oh God, is this really happening?
"I don't think anyone's said that. But I'm sure a lot of people have thought it. The thing is, they were probably in love with two people too."
"I love you Jake."
He kissed her.
She kissed him back.

Lawndale - Early 21st Century

"The thing is girls, we did stop at one child."

Lawndale - Mid '70s

"Amy, Jake, I've found an apartment in Highland." Cried Helen, stuffing a few more belongings into her backpack. "If you ever want to see me again, you'll find me there."
The last Jake saw of Helen was her beautiful figure stepping into a taxi.
"Jake, I'm sorry I tore you two apart." Said Amy, crestfallen.

Lawndale - Mid/Late '80s

"I knew you'd come back sooner or later Helen" Jake whispered.
"Jakey, I want you to come to the apartment with me. It's a lovely place - we have everything we need there."
"What about Amy?"
"She stays here. From now on it's just you and me."
"But -"
"You. And. Me."
"Amy's pregnant."
"WHAT? I can't believe this Jake. Fooling around with my sister? I'm not sharing a house with you. Not now, not ever. I'm leaving. When you have some dignity come back. may be able to forgive you then."
Jake said nothing.
"Don't act all innocent with me Jake - you did something wrong and you know it."
"Sorry Helen"
"Sorry isn't good enough now, this is serious!"


Nine months later, Daria was born. Jake pleaded with Amy to get an abortion, but Amy wanted a baby desperately - not just so she could be a mother, but so she could spite Helen. Even though she'd never really been a focus in the Barksdale sister's arguments, she's always hated Helen. But when she looked at her fragile, pure baby, her emotions changed completely.
"You will make a great father, Jake."
"I can see why Helen chose you."
"I don't think I should be with you Jake. You were made for Helen - you go so well together. Go back to her."
"I can't now. Not with this baby."
"Yes you can. I'll pretend none of this happened. I can just say I'm her aunt. It'll be so much better that way."
"Okay, well..."
"You keep Daria with you."
Jake looked at the adress written in perfect, yet somewhat shaky, handwriting.
He took the train to Highland, with a crying baby in his arms.

Highland - Mid/Late '80s

"So, you came back."
"And who's this?"
"This is our baby - Daria."
"Our baby? It's your baby but not mine."
"Well it's ours now. Amy said she couldn't cope with breaking up our relationship, that we were made for each other and should take care of this baby."
"Well, we are true lovers. That's why I keep this." Helen took the Hobbit candle out of her handbag.
"What the hell is that?"

Two years later, Quinn was born. This was Jake and Helen's proper baby. Perfect. Innocent. Beautiful. Daria fumed with jealousy at the new baby. Daria was a todler now. She had started talking and reading at a very early age and wouldn't stop. Helen and Jake were considering taking her to a gifted and talented primary school. Helen had become partner in a successful law firm and Jake had a consulting job, so hopefully they could afford to send her to one. But now they had another mouth to feed things became a little different. They loved Quinn and almost forgot about Daria altogether. Daria became isolated and soon Helen and Jake had forgotten about plans to take her to Highland Gifted & Talented. They were more interested in Quinn now.

Lawndale - Early 21st Century

"I know it's hard for you to imagine this..." Helen said . "But it really did happen."
"You mean..."
"I'm not Quinn's sister?"
"And I'm not Daria's sister?"
"So when Quinn said that I was her cousin she was right?"
"Not exactly right, but almost right."
"She's like a half - cousin - sister - thingy."
"I've definitely learned something from this." Grinned Daria. "I'm not Amy's favourite niece."
Daria went on her computer and IMed Jane.

mpowers: hey jane
lane: yo
mpowers: youll never guess what
lane: quinns your cousin after all?
mpowers: damn you and your psychic powers
lane: ;-)
mpowers: helen isnt my mom either
lane: who is?
mpowers: my "aunt" amy
lane: oh - the writer?
mpowers: yup
lane: coool. you gonna move back and see her?
mpowers: i think ill stay at raft - its too late to drop out now.

la la LA la la
Music: In Every Dream Home A Heartache - Roxy Music